please don't read this and think I am just complaining because I am very very blessed in my life but I have to get a few things down before I spend 2 days crying it out...
I am sitting here, looking out the window while looking at rentals online. My heart hurts..... 2010/2011 has been a really really hard year and a half. Down to the hardest thing I have had to do and that is move in with family. I am so grateful we have the chance to start over and oh how thankful I am to a mother and father who took us in without a second thought. I am just aching for my own............ my own life back. I have no motivation any more. I am not motivated to clean, to cook, to do anything! I look at rentals just about every single day, dreaming about having my life back. I really thought that by the time I was 30 that I would have my life together. I would own a home, be financially secure, and basically all together. Usually I have a schedule and get things done but I really struggle with that lately.
I read a talk by Elder Holland today and part of it goes-
“Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”
So I will end with that "Trust God and believe in good things to come."
Love you guys so much! I just know that there are so many great things coming for you and Jason, and you will be better people for the challenges you overcome. Whenever I am discouraged, I always just remind myself that the Lord will never give me something I can't handle. He already knows we can overcome these trials, as long as we do what we know is right! It's probably the single hardest thing in this life to do, but it's so worth it to turst the Lord, and I believe good things really are coming for you!! You are so amazing and I have always looked up to you so much. You are an amazing mother, incredible cook, successful businesswoman, and seem to always have the answers to all my questions and advice to all my problems! Hope things start to turn around soon! I think it will all be worth it in the end! You are so great!
ReplyDeleteHey Amanda.. I just had to take a break from work for a minute and comment on this.. I just want you to know that I love you so much and that I know it's hard right now. But if anyone can handle all this it is you! It doesn't all make sense now, but I promise it will someday and you will look back and be grateful that you went through it all because it made you become a stronger, better person! remember that quote I sent you? here it is again..my favorite part...
ReplyDelete"Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. "
you mean so much to me. you and your little family have changed me in more ways than you know.. and i needed you guys in my life. so if you are ever feeling down and not worth anything.. you give me a call. i will tell you how you have changed me for the better. i promise things will get better! and also remember it's okay to vent and cry! you can come to me anytime. you are amazing. we all love you so much! you will get everything you desire someday. and it will mean so much more after going through what you have gone through. love you!